Don’t be fooled- there is no such thing as an anxiety-free divorce. While there can be complicated and ugly divorces, there can be easy and painless divorces as well. So, now that you’re an independent working woman in England, unpleasant marriage is another aspect of your happy-go-lucky life. However, suppose that the portrayal of leading a happy life is sabotaging your inner self. It is vital to prepare yourself for a divorce.
Ideally, if you and your spouse live the same life, the couple usually agrees to get a divorce. And, the terms of getting divorced are decided upon before filing for legal termination of the marriage. But, you need to take care of not hurting each other for life.
If you’re preparing for divorce, it is vital to be ready for the multiple steps to divorce. You also need to take care of the emotional stages. After all, it can drain you physically and mentally.
So, whether you’re a decision-maker or a mere recipient, it is vital to make the process as smooth and easy as possible. And, if it’s not for your spouse- do it for yourself, at least. Now that you’re paving the path to a divorce proceeding, it is vital to note this checklist to walk through the steps of preparing for a divorce. Thereby, grab a cup of coffee and get started.
And, remember- Light will come only after darkness.
- Get a Team Together:
Divorce is sure to feel lonely and cold. Some days you may want to crawl into your bed and never come out, giving the excuse of cold England mornings. At the same time, it may be good to escape from the world and experience the dark grief. However, it cannot always be your chief coping strategy.
Instead, you need to take care of yourself. It’s the most important thing, after all. It’ll come as a surprise but know that you cannot do all of it alone. It would help if you had other people by your side. Not just your kids, not just your parents, but a gang. A tribe, a carload of 2 a.m. ride-or-die pals, friends with whom you can have a heart-to-heart talk.
Even better is that these people should have good boundaries, thick skin and come with their best interests in mind.
Thereby, it is vital to do two things, especially while selecting your support team. Firstly, choose people who support you in all spheres of life– because divorce takes a dig at every square inch of one’s life.
Second, let each aid in its appropriate ways. Your therapist isn’t your friend. The friend isn’t a lawyer (unless they are one). Hence, it is safe to say that unfairly expecting people to do things they can’t, instead, stick to the expertise you can have in specific areas.
Try building your team to fill these roles:
Emotional: Sometimes, it is worthwhile talking to a trusted family member or friend, especially when you need it. Thus, experts recommend talking to a professional minister or a counsellor.
This saying holds the truest when you’re coping with significant trauma. This trauma might relate to substance abuse or a childhood trauma ignited by a divorce. Sometimes you may suffice your needs with just one session, while the other times, you may need deep healing. Either way, rely on professionals for lifting the heaviness from your chest and let your friends be friends.
Physical: During a divorce, your body switches from the fight-or-flight mode, making tons of cortisol and adrenaline, keeping those stress chemicals in the body points towards unhealthy practices.
Thus, it is worthwhile to take care of your body and pay attention to the diverse needs even if you don’t feel like doing it. Hit the gym with a close friend. Go for walks with your colleague at lunch. Eat nutritious food, and get a good night’s sleep. Choose less caffeine, less Netflix, and less alcohol. And, NEVER isolate yourself.
Legal: While you can go through the amicable divorce process with a ton of maturity, many people need a divorce lawyer. A reasonable attorney will help you understand your rights for Fast, Easy Divorce in England and Wales and enable you to make intelligent choices. Check if you can procure an easy divorce as a process. It would be best to fill up a simple questionnaire, complete divorce papers, and manage your divorce through the court. By doing so, you’ll be able to save your precious time and money.
All you’ve to do is keep your emotions in check and make a good list. This list will facilitate you to save time on what you need to discuss with your lawyer.
Financial: Financial changes are some of the most significant stressors; thereby, it is wise to speak to your financial planner. The experts have experience walking clients through the divorce process and can help you make sound financial decisions.
You also require a long and hard look at the insurance policies. So, find a trustworthy local broker for getting the best rates and the most coverage.
Don’t forget your kids to be members of your support team. After all, they are your most significant assets and can be your biggest strength in these difficult times.
- Gather Personal Information:
It takes time to find people whom you trust and can rely on. So, it is crucial to pull people together, prepare for divorce by gathering some personal information. The things that you shared once need to be private now. There can be severe emotional and financial damage if they access your email, bank account, or mail.
Change passwords and get a P.O. box. In addition to this, they have all the personal information like name, date of birth, salary, property, and possessions among divorce information like a restraining order, visitation order, prenuptial agreement, and separation agreement.
- Identify the Personal Property:
Part of the divorce is deciding who gets what. People may suggest you take personal property and punish your spouse for the misery. But, never do that. Everyone is on the losing side, by that way. So, be fair and have integrity.
The very first step in the process is making a list of the stuff you possess both individually and jointly with your spouse. Would you mind listing all the items and determining their value? If yes, then gather all the paperwork and top it off with a photograph so that you have proof of all you own.
These essentials may be personal property, deed, insurance, house and land, vacation homes, and condos. Now that you have a list in hand organize these legal documents well and get your finances in order. Also, take time to separate your finances to protect yourself and the money.
Financial experts recommend putting an emergency fund in place, preparing a monthly budget. Try your best to raise your income to support yourself and your kids during and after the divorce process as some to-dos.
The Bottom Line- Get More Support
Divorce proceedings can be pretty overwhelming and may take your mental peace away. Therefore, it is vital to take care of yourself before anything else. Set clear goals and connect with a financial coach to streamline the finances with ease.
Remember, every dark cloud has a silver lining. You’ll be amazed at where you belong and what you’re capable of after completing the divorce checklist. Acknowledge a hard time. Grieve it. Then be brave because you’re worthy of love, whole life, and joy.
Be well, in the end.